Tweets (9270)
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@bdkinzie Here's an example on the Portland Craigslist. Keep in mind, the UK models are called something different. http://t.co/Nl0qi3Le
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@bdkinzie I recommend a Canon Rebel. The current model (T3i) always sells for $800, but you can probably find a used T1i for $500 ish.
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Finished Book One of THE HUNGER GAMES. Solid. Now I just have to finish A Clash of Kings before Game of Thrones Season 2 gets started.
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I backed up a 120GB iPhoto Library to an external drive and then deleted it off my computer. Felt real good. Now, what about all the videos.
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@codesonic Yup. RVM'd to 1.9.3 and it worked great. It's nice actually getting to the bottom of something every once in a while.
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@codesonic Weird, again, because I am definitely running 1.8.7 right now. Something fishy going on.
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@codesonic Yep. That did the trick! Was I having issues because of Ruby 1.8.7 or something?
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@codesonic I'm definitely including that bit with no extra spaces. It works fine like this "1.upto(5).each{|i|puts i}" but not with strings.
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I guess considering how much I enjoyed "Keeping Up Appearances" & "Mrs. Palfrey at The Claremont," I shouldn't be too surprised. Old people!
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Somehow we have become fans of ROSEMARY & THYME, a British show about two older, female, gardening detectives. No joke. http://t.co/bsDNTcki
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Hello, Me. Are you in there? Making sure you're not dead. Smelled some rotting flesh.
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@veganstraightedge I'm telling you. Read SEX AT DAWN. It is so good on so many levels, and it's not just about sex. Get on it.
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@veganstraightedge Not necessarily. There are plenty of tribal people that commonly lived to be 80 years old.
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At the bank, disputing a suspicious $265.55 electronic transfer from my account to a Chase account that I did not authorize. Hmmm.
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AMERICAN JUGGALO by Sean Dunne is a fantastic, short-form documentary on the culture of Juggalos in America. Powerful. http://t.co/vPNa0FP8
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@codesonic Hmmm. When I run that in irb I get "LocalJumpError: no block given". What am I doing wrong?
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@brke I'll be up on Sunday, for another week in Seattle, with my nice camera. Let's do a photo shoot. /cc @veganstraightedge @jlsuttles
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@NowImworried that I drank too much water and I'll have to pee again in 5 minutes.
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After a super productive day, I rewarded myself with a $2 cone of Vegan Soft Serve from Back to Eden. It's dangerously delicious.
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Hey, Seattle! Today is IN THE BOWL's 5th Anniversary and you get 50% off everything. So you should probably go eat there now. /cc @brke
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@veganstraightedge Antarctica! Zing! No, but seriously, I've been seeing it the past 2 years, obviously, but now it is really everywhere.
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@brke You were a hipster WAY before that. No question. But my point is that "leggings & boots" has crossed over into the non-hipster realm.
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Tights / leggings & boots is SO in right now. Kind of amazing how prolific it has become. Don't get me wrong, it's cute, but it's all I see!
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@bdkinzie @mikeblessing I became a HUGE fan of the English Breakfast while in NZ & AU: beans, sautéd mushrooms, tomato, avocado on toast.
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@bdkinzie I started with a whole range of little point & shoots, but about 6 years ago upgraded to a Canon Rebel XTi and now the T1i.
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@bdkinzie But when you break it down it's only like 4,500 per year, 12 per day. Not outrageous. I've just been doing it for a long time. :)
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@bdkinzie For reals, my man! I actually have a little over 39,000 b/c there are some private photos. But yeah, quickly approaching 40,000.
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I'm hesitant to say this b/c it doesn't feel possible, but I'm completely caught up on my @flickr photos (uploaded nearly 9000 since April).
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Some people want to be a movie star, rock musician, sports champion, etc. My dream is simple: a Verified @Twitter Account. Check, please!
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Hey Seattle! I'll be in you on Sunday afternoon, arriving by train, and will be attending the @BudosBand show at @neumos. You should come.
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I had so much fun this afternoon playing in the mud with Aiden & Lucas. Sometimes I can't even believe how hilarious they are. Good times.
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@hrrrthrrr That is a really good question! All those avos look so delicious, so, hopefully soon. I hope to make it down for @farmhouse conf.
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@StephenAtHome Went to Ben & Jerry's on Hawthorne (in Portland, OR) with @n8duke and there was NO ONE there. You need to step up your game.
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I was pretty excited about the wireless audio possibilities with my new Airport Express, but it only really works well with iTunes. Hmmm.
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Nothing quite like checking your Git Logs while journaling… What did I do last Wednesday? Oh, right, I cleaned up the code on the home page.
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@hrrrthrrr I'm really into it, but there's a video / audio lag on my end. Are you seeing it too?
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@veganstraightedge Oh. Nice. I was wondering if that was cool. Would that be a good option for a @listyourlist rebuild?
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@veganstraightedge I did now. That's amazing. Where'd you learn tricks like that? I wanna know.
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Eating a sandwich, drinking coconut water, and watching @n8duke play Zelda: Link to the Past. "Bullshit! I hate this game more and more..."
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Wore my red sweatpants all day, including a trip to New Seasons at 8pm. Does this count as a "pants optional" day? I think so...
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Bluebird day at Mt Hood Meadows! Carin & I made tracks all over that beautiful mountain. Sunshine & apricot-infused bourbon for lunch!
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@BenPruce Solid. Had a stellar bluebird day at Mt Hood Meadows today. And, some Apricot-infused bourbon for lunch! So perfect. :)
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@_BillyMadison If your dog gets lost you don't look for an hour then call it quits. You get your ass out there & you find that fucking dog!
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@asgeirhoem That is a very good question… I need it because some floating divs aren't pulling the parent div down to below them.
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"You can either go through life WANTING to get pooped on or NOT wanting to get pooped on. You decide." - @lalavalse
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Hilarious night out on the town with @topfunky & @lalavalse at Blossoming Lotus and Beaker & Flask. We should do that again sometime soon.
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In case you were wondering, that last post was NOT by me. Paula thinks she's SO FUNNY. I agree! /cc @lalavalse @brke @andrewjfoster #poopin
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@veganstraightedge They are SUPER slick and now I have one for all future traveling / wireless jams needs. AMAZING how easy it was to setup.
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Went out on a bit of a limb & bought an Airport Express (½ price on craigslist) exclusively for wireless jams in my room. Effortless setup.
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@asgeirhoem Loving your CSS Wrap Around Ribbon, but it doesn't work inside a element with "overflow:auto." Any idea how to get around that?
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#wherestheband tour at Doug Fir. So excited to see @ChrisLaneConley rock out some wicked acoustic @savestheday jams! "Tonight will be..."
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This is Cody. He bought a School Bus this morning in Seattle and driving it to Portland, giving me a free ride! :D http://t.co/rImLqr1T
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Hitching a ride(share) back to Portland in a full-size Yellow School Bus. No joke. And I'm paying my way with photos. It's 2012. Get wild!
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@veganstraightedge I love it too, but I just recently switched my avatar. Got AT LEAST another 5 years before it's time to change again.
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@grunder That's awesome. I love squashed pennies. They're one of the few things I collect. That, and In-flight Safety Manuals.
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I've had a great week in Seattle hanging with the @LunaSandals crew, and soon I'll go back to Portland to see @ChrisLaneConley at Doug Fir!
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@tjnelsonjr Unbelievable. And it's not just the fact that it was a bear growling at him, it was an amazing shot! Even in his last moments...
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@ChrisLaneConley This Is Not an Exit! And, if you could dedicate it to Robin, that would be great. :) #wherestheband /cc @rubywhatever
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He drove to the State Trooper's house at 8am & knocked on the door. The trooper asked him if he knew how to drive & he said, "I drove here!"
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Dinner at the Merner / McKibben's tonight with @bookis. On the drive home Gramps told us the story of how he got his Driver License in 1936.
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@kehahn Yeah! Whenever a character said "Stark" I got to make someone else drink. I had to drink when character said a "non-courtly insult."
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Game of Thrones drinking game at @eliseworthy's last night with @bookis and friends. Who knew they said "Stark" so many ding dang times?!
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@eliseworthy @peepcode I like the sound of that! :D Did you find anything exciting?
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@kehahn I became so ridiculously obsessed with that song and listened to it on repeat for at least a week. SUCH a good jam.
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Seattle.rb Ruby Nerd Club! It's been YEARS since my last visit, but it feels great to be surrounded by my fellow nerds. Thanks, Ryan!
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Urchin Jr just walked over and plopped down in the sunshine at my feet. Then she reached out and grabbed my toe with her paws. I melted.
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The Not-So Secret Life of an A-Cup : http://t.co/gINvTfrb I happen to LOVE small breasts, I don't care what anybody says. You go, Annie P!
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Wandering around the Salt Cathedral, in search of bathroom, we found this beautiful tree & made friends with an owl. http://t.co/EaqOi7xv
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It's twenty past midnight on a Tuesday, and I just registered "poopypants.net". Best 15 bucks I ever spent.
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I still stand by @n8duke and my Tecmo Super Bowl prediction for tonight's game. That's what you call dedication. http://t.co/DaPJ1fdO
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Jumped ourselves to exhaustion, then we went to Ian & Sasha's for a Miracle Fruit Party. Didn't work for Deanna b/c she had a bad attitude.
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My 1/2 30th Birthday Trampoline Party was fucking perfect. So many friends & so many jumps. I did a double front flip into the foam pit! :)
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Yesterday Aiden (9) and I got down on a pretty wicked D / A7 jam session, rocking the Ukulele and Guitar, respectively.
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@mcrashelle We'll be jumping in your honor… whatever that means. ;) /cc @bookis
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This is probably the COOLEST Bug's Life graffiti you're ever gonna see, and it was on some's HOUSE in Bogota! Pixar! http://t.co/geKTeaTk
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On the way to the 1st Friday Potluck we stopped in the middle of the road for about 5 minutes to watch two raccoons in a stand-off. Intense!
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Nate brought Aiden & Lucas over today. We whipped up some home-made Bubble Tea and watched WITCHES. It's still a pretty freaky movie.
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@bookis I know. It seemed obvious after the fact, but at the time I had NO idea. Sometimes I'm just like that. /cc @veganstraightedge @brke
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@brke What the fuck!?! I'm disappointed in you. There's gonna be TRAMPOLINES EVERYWHERE!! What can POSSIBLY be more important than that?
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"What the HELL is that? Am I a BUNNY now?" - @n8duke, getting frustrated with Zelda: Link to the Past
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@plain_lo Hmmm. Curious. Ok, then just look it up yourself: The Big Roar by The Joy Formidable. They are sorta noisy / trance / rock ish.
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@brke I see what your saying, and I think that's a good approach. You're doing great. Don't beat yourself up over it. ;)
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There is NO difference between Sugar & High Fructose Corn Syrup. Your body treats them just like alcohol: as a poison. http://t.co/lWwVqOQL
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Oh, @jennyslate25! You are so cute & hilarious. Congratulations on all your success! There's no stopping you now. http://t.co/W85qRzio
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@veganstraightedge The long and the short of it is to avoid sugary drinks (soda or juice or what-have-you) at all cost. http://t.co/kIEnvKga
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Winter, slumbering in the open air, wears on his smiling face a dream of spring.
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Had a little party with friends & popcorn & apples with almond butter & whiskey & Groundhog Day, one of my all-time favorite movies. :D
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@akstrahan But have you seen ADAPTATION? It is simply amazing and he does a fantastic job. Honestly. I otherwise completely agree with you.
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Ingrid home-made potato / leek soup & peach crisp the other night for dinner and @n8duke returned the favor tonight with frozen fish sticks.
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@veganstraightedge @bookis You looked at it, thought about it, and figured it out.
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@veganstraightedge How'd you know? Turns out it was @bookis texting me from Elise's phone. You're good. You're real good.
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Got a text from an unknown 206 number w/ this picture & the caption "120k gallons. I think we need to re-calculate." http://t.co/3cxTo1qC
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@BenPruce Oh, my goodness. I'm honored! I don't know what to say. I didn't prepare anything.
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I love making a @SavesTheDay Daybreak Trilogy playlist and listening to it straight through. It's awesome how well they all fit together. :)
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American Psycho on the 48 - I just recently started following @ejipp, which jogged loose a funny memory. /cc @n8duke http://t.co/AuGOct2K
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Went to an awesome improve / experimental show at Revival Drum Shop last night featuring Luke Wyland (of AU) on accordion & electronics. :)
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"My three favorite foods are 1) Egg Nog, 2) Black Pepper, and 3) Wasabi." - Miranda May
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@ejipp At the time I remember doing a search for your email address which lead me to your MySpace profile which let the cat out of the bag.
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@ejipp Remember that time back in 2006 when @n8duke got you to respond to a "Missed Connection" I posted on craigslist? That was hilarious.
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Watched RED STATE with @n8duke tonight. It was intense. Definitely the best movie Kevin Smith has ever made, by a LONG shot.
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Ingrid made a delicious dinner tonight: homemade potato / leek soup and the BEST crisp (peach & nectarine) that I've EVER had. So good.
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When did vegetarianism become passe? I was just talking about this with vegan peeps. Certainly an interesting topic. http://t.co/BgGUlYpf
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You've GOT to see @IMKristenBell's Sloth Meltdown. Honestly. Ellen plays a HILARIOUS prank on her at the end. So good. http://t.co/rg4dELjZ
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@srslytheshow Absolutely LOVED it. I was gonna try to quote my favorite line here, but I'd ended up typing out the whole episode. Gold Star!
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Safari™ Pro Tip: You can UNDO closing a tab. So, the next time you accidentally close one you didn't mean to - ⌘Z.
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Apparently I was born on a Thursday, and, if we consider Chinese Astrology / Zodiac, I'm a Water Dog. Who knew? http://t.co/hxA2dgxH
Retweets (509)
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Lauren Caltagirone: Phone just autocorrected "kitty litter" to "Give love a chance, Lauren! Sign up for that dating site, go out & have some fun. U deserve it!"
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Sarah Beattie: if you're a bass player do you watch while everyone else in your band has sex or do you just listen from the hallway
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Justin Halpern: Guy in an Camaro and a tank a top just sped around me and gave me the finger. You're a lazy screenwriter, God.
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Laura Buttery: Must I waste half my life working out to be sexy? All I want is to spend zero time working out & be sexy forever. Asking too much?
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Tom Coates: The best thing about not working at Yahoo is that you get to write Yahoo without a fucking exclamation mark after it.
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The Canada Party: If altar boys could get pregnant, you can bet the Catholic Church wouldn't be fighting Obama on the birth control requirement.
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Mark Rennie: I'm dead inside if a re-tweet from someone I admire makes me happier than a hug from a good friend, right?
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Bravotv: 'WET HOT AMERICAN SUMMER' SEQUEL IS A GO WITH THE WHOLE CAST, says @mshowalter. #freakingout #WWHL
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Kelly Oxford: Today's Hero: Airport security guard who just swabbed my hands for explosives, nodded at me and said, "You're clean."
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Chris Gore: Based on this Star Wars Episode 1 thing, I'm pretty sure we could not only fake a moon landing now, we could do it in 3D.
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Laura Buttery: Sometimes a color CAN be a flavor. Red cream soda is delish, but it doesn't taste like any red fruit. Tastes like red+cream soda.
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Justin Halpern: At Banana Republic, drinking a Jamba Juice, and having a conversation about Mad Men. If you're plan to out-white-guy me today, good luck.
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Ashley Strahan: Spotify wants me to listen to their V-day playlist & judging from what I heard on their ad it sounds just as terrible as valentines day
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Jrak: That moment when you hear a recording of your own voice and wonder how you have any friends.
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Bookis: Just thought of a new New Years resolution, swear more in 2012. I'll start by saying this: Mother fucking ants on a mother fucking log.
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Bookis: I just painted a wall in my room without getting paint on anything that I didn't want paint on. Becoming a grown up!
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Ricky Gervais: OK, last time. We didn't evolve FROM apes, but WITH them. We have shared ancestors like cousins share grandparents.
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Kelly Oxford: NBC did not order my show. Will be performing it with my children in a Costco parking lot near you, 8pm every Thursday night this Fall.
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Lauren Caltagirone: If your neighbor stops by, tell him "Storks are dorks. Let's do this the old fashion way" to see if he's ready to be a daddy.
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Harris Wittels: How come girl facial cleansers smell like flowers and melons, but boy facial cleansers smell like science? We like nice scents too, y'all!
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Ashley Strahan: According to Steve I've eaten 136 pizza rolls in one year three months and six days and I'm about to eat some more.
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Hrrrthrrr: As my emergency contact I want you to pull the plug if I'm ever brain dead. Then donate my organs and befriend whoever gets my heart.
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Stephen Colbert: Come to my rally on Fri @ 1pm @ the Cistern at College of Charleston and show your support for Herman Cain for me.
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Shane Becker: It's amazing how much less I spend on groceries when I don't get a metric grip ton of juice and chocolate almond milk.
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Shane Becker: The other day @n8duke and @isadance called me because asking me was faster than googling for Fall Out Boy lyrics. I'm good with that.
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Lo: if there's anything nicer than an overwarm bath and a discussion about the nature of discourse via wifi- well ill just eat my donut hat.
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Jonathan Howard: If only people had hated #NDAA as much as #SOPA. Apparently indefinite detention without trial isn't nearly as bad as losing Youtube.
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Josh : Avatar 2 release date has been pushed back 2 years from 2014 to 2016? Pandora will be real by then & it will be like watching a soap
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Missy Moser: Him: I noticed in your profile we have something in common. Me: What? Him: Fucking magnets, how do they work? Me: oh wow. Him: miracles.
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Laura Buttery: It would be so fucking awesome if I could never hear the phrase, 'I'm not here to make friends' again in my life.
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Doug Benson: Gay sex will exist forever, abortions will continue to happen, people will always smoke weed. Know what is going away, though? OLD PEOPLE
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Lo: crushed out on our moon tonite. amazing to think if earth were size of classroom globe, moon would be a mile away. and we've been there!
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Kelly Oxford: Cain, Perry, Bachmann all claimed God told them to run for President, and all are out of the race. God is hilarious.
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Brooke Graham: Whenever a Duke favorites/retwoots my tweets I feel like I scored some serious nerd points, of the geek variety. FTW! Cc @eliduke @n8duke
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Bookis: "Don't worry kitty, we're gonna watch a show, you can come cuddle with us" -@eliduke talking to cat while we're winding down for the night
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Clayton Cubitt: More people are having mind-blowing anal sex in NYC at any given time than voted in the Iowa Republican caucuses today.
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Scotched Rinker: I'm really good at making someone fall in love with me and then slowly destroying that love, if anyone needs marriage advice.
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Bookis: If i disappear or get eaten by cannibals today, please know @eliduke is ultimately at fault.
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Geoffrey Grosenbach: Many adults have forgotten the joy of dumping bags and boxes of things out onto the floor. Try legos, chips, or a 10 pound bag of flour.
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Lauren Caltagirone: Anybody have a dog & a baby & a stroller & a wheelchair I could borrow? I need to go to the mall and just stand there.
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Jon Daly: Does Tilda Swinton live in a house or does she just walk slowly into the ocean in a bridal gown in between movies?
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Lo: the sexual tension between link/zelda is, frankly, really distracting and endlessly awkward turtle. #skywardsword
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Boss L: So sick of people posting pictures of their babies. Bro, that shit is soft. Fuck that.
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Justin Halpern: There's no lonelier feeling than when I'm flying and I've reached the end of the in-flight mag and I'm just staring at map of flight routes.
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Lauren Caltagirone: I love my friends, but I'd like to spend more time with someone who has a penis attached to his body that he will insert in me.
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Harris Wittels: Sometimes, to turn my TV on or off as I enter or leave the room, I'll go behind the back with the remote. How do YOU guys exhibit flavor?
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Lo: my friday night? oh im probably gonna drink whiskey and do a workout video.
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Lo: woman wearing xmas sweater & velvet maroon scrunchie the size of dinner plate just had a sweary elevator meltdown bc it made too many stops
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Cord: "Man, when dudes like that call you gay, it just means that girls like you and you dress real nice." --Jesse Lee, drummer and sage
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Kelly Oxford: It's very telling that no matter how much you love someone, you always love them more when you see them asleep.
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Hrrrthrrr: Why did I think it was a good idea to make homemade cinnamon rolls tonight? There's like 3 hours of dough rising that I've had to wait for.
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Jenn King: Still using AIM or MySpace is the computer equivalent of wearing Wrangler jean shorts, man sandals, and transition lenses. #behindonthetimes
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Shane Becker: @bookis : "Where's your yellow bag?" @eliduke : "What yellow bag?" BKS : "Your yellow bag." ELI : "It's yellow?" @eliduke is color blind.
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Shane Becker: First, @eliduke made us look at his poop. Now, @bookis made us eat sand. Hashtag endless summer.
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Jrak: "wats up i like chillin wit my friends n i like rap rock country an punk music so leave a comment" -everyones 'about me' on myspace in 2007
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Justin Halpern: Hey, right as your about to put raisins in to your oatmeal cookie dough, maybe you put chocolate chips in instead. Thanks.
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Kelly Oxford: Empathy to the Mom whose son found "a plastic greasy penis" in her bed and told my kids' entire Jr. High School.
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Kelly Oxford: Women are more self-conscious than men about how they look because we put makeup on our faces and walk around all day like a bunch of liars.
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Mike Shea Ap: Odd that we're punishing the people that are protesting the bad economy instead of punishing the people that caused the bad economy
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Lauren Caltagirone: The only person you have control over is yourself, or your ex if he's tied up & you're trying to EXPLAIN SOMETHING TO HIM, DANIEL.
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Laura Buttery: My dog is super cutely resting her sleepy little head on my tibia. I am not at all comfortable, but if I move, it's all over.
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Justin Halpern: I hope someday to see a PSA that starts "I have 99 problems, and one of them is childhood obesity. Hi, I'm recording artist Jay-Z..."
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Justin Halpern: "You may pack your speculum and go. You are not America's Top Colonoscopist." - Taylor Lautner, in the year 2025 on Bravo 7.
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Glenn Greenwald: I give thanks that the FBI disrupted many, many Terrorist plots this year that were conceived, directed & funded by the FBI
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Monroe Monroe: My children will be raised right. They will watch the original Star Wars and the others will be kept secret from them.
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Daniel Pinchbeck: The point of the intentional, organized, unconscionable police brutality against the Occupiers is to terrorize the public into inaction.
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Favorites (834)
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Jenny Slate: PS: that last tweet was preceeded by me asking @gabeliedman "Can u take a pic of me talking on my banana? I have a tweet."
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Mike Stumpe: Ah shit "backdraft" just started. Here comes a roller coaster of emotions and my next 2 hours ruined
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Ben Pruce: Say what u want but I know what the "kids" are into and it fucking blows. Trust me. Ur shits weak
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Brooke Graham: Don't worry boys I got a good @brke quote too.
"Really I like boys because they have penises."
cc/ @eliduke @veganstraightedge
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Justin: "Valentine's day is bullshit. Our DNA demands we fuck each other, so if you need a holiday to talk your wife into screwing you, it's over."
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Now I'm Worried: Now I’m worried that all my sugar packets fell out of my pockets at the bus stop and some diabetic birds will eat them and die.
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N8duke: @eliduke & I played a game of Tecmo Super Bowl to predict this year's #SuperBowl results. #Giants 42, #Patriots 0. You heard it here first.
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Bookis: Today is going to be an excellent day. Kicked it off by finishing Perplexus for the first time. Next, TRAMPOLINE PARTY in p-land!
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Brooke Graham: @eliduke there is snot leaking outta my face. I get lightheaded bending over. Could you imagine jumping for hour like this? I'd pass out!
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Eli Duke: @brke What the fuck!?! I'm disappointed in you. There's gonna be TRAMPOLINES EVERYWHERE!! What can POSSIBLY be more important than that?
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Lo: 'judging from the smell of that corridor, she's probably befriending another realm' -friend explaining that his neighbor smokes A Lot of pot
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Lauren Caltagirone: I'm VERY busy on Tuesday, February 14th so don't even bother asking me out for that night. Because I'm busy. Super busy so don't even ask.
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Now I'm Worried: Now I’m worried that I overfed my neighbor’s fish and overwatered their cactus and everything will be dead by the time they’re home.
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Lauren Caltagirone: Sitting at a separate table from my date 'cause I don't want him to think I'm "clingy." Also, he's with someone else so there was no room.
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Morgen Myrdal: No joke, I can't remember the last time I showered. Now keep in mind I work at 3 jobs all and hour from my house. But... still. eww.
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Kathryn Elizabeth: Blocked by 2 REAL friends b/c they thought I was a pornbot due to the name! SERIOUSLY? It’s not like my name is Cinnamon Lolita. #facepalm
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Kelly Oxford: An infant is just a minaturized you that can detonate from the mouth or butt at any moment & you have to carry it around & keep it alive!!!
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Aj Foster: It is official. I will be living a dream on Tuesday. I couldn't be more excited to see Maury live and in person!
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Justin Halpern: Posting on twitter about how productive you're going to be today is like telling the cashier at KFC about your new diet.
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Sputnik Sweetheart: If you like someone, set them free. If you hate them, set them free. Basically, don't hold anyone captive as a slave ever.
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Lauren Caltagirone: Guys only tease girls they like, right? My neighbor pushed me down the stairs & slashed my tires but hasn't asked me out yet...
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Mike Stumpe: One day generations of people will look back at us and not believe people told us what we eat is healthy #gmo
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Jenny Slate: Always titties. Every day we have to decide to show or hide them. Everyday with the titties. Titties are the best though. #titties #Poem
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Morgen Myrdal: "The man can't even hang blinds. Meanwhile I'm like 'Build me a table... then do me on it.'" -Josh
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Laura Buttery: @eliduke @brke I've never known anyone else with such a fondness for poop! It's kiiinda your thing. :)
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Shane Becker: I just blew @evanphx's mind by teaching him that flammable and inflammable mean the same thing. Boom.
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Lauren Caltagirone: SO ready to drop that Zero & get with a Hero. Or like a Five. Four is fine. If you know any single Threes, DM me. Heeey Twos.
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Amanda Quinn: I don't care if it hurts, I want to have control. I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul. #creep
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Ben Pruce: @eliduke @andrewjfoster @mikeblessing Ben Folds Five is reuniting to make an album. Everything in 3's. Refused, ATDI, BF5
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Ricky Gervais: OK, last time. We didn't evolve FROM apes, but WITH them. We have shared ancestors like cousins share grandparents.
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Mcrashelle: @eliduke That South Pole video was the best thing I could've thought of watching at my 4am during my graveyard shift. 2 hours left. thaank u
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Lo: @veganstraightedge @eliduke this particular toot made me feel real warm and happy. you guys are good at being friends.
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Mcrashelle: @eliduke Well thank you for that option Eli. How the heck are ya? And when are you coming back to Seattle.
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Shane Becker: I called @eliduke to tell him about one thing... 3 hours later we just hung up. Good talk. See you out there.
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Kathryn Elizabeth: Need a dress so I stopped by BCBG. I left immediately b/c I don't trust people who wear sequins and aggressive daytime eyeliner.
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Kelly Oxford: NBC did not order my show. Will be performing it with my children in a Costco parking lot near you, 8pm every Thursday night this Fall.
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Lauren Caltagirone: If your neighbor stops by, tell him "Storks are dorks. Let's do this the old fashion way" to see if he's ready to be a daddy.
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Kelly Oxford: Women throw up when they're pregnant because nothing is grosser than a human growing inside of you
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Mark Rennie: Scott Peterson and Drew Peterson are the Bill Pullman/Bill Paxton of wife-murderers. I can't keep 'em straight!
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Lo: even if i could hear what you said i doubt my reply'd be interesting for you to hear bc i havent read a single book all year. #idratherdance
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Mark Rennie: Saying Dolly Parton has had too much plastic surgery is like saying Shrek is a little too green. That's what she's supposed to look like!
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Aj Foster: This winter is so weird. Warm, cold, snow, and now a thunderstorm. Also this elevator smells like rotting fish.
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Harris Wittels: How come girl facial cleansers smell like flowers and melons, but boy facial cleansers smell like science? We like nice scents too, y'all!
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Morgen Myrdal: Instead of abreast, how about "aboob?" "just keep me aboob of the news." or i would like to touch "abreast."
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Ashley Strahan: @eliduke I love salt & pepper kettle chips. So yummy! I also love reading, so it sounds like a great night to me :)
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Ashley Strahan: According to Steve I've eaten 136 pizza rolls in one year three months and six days and I'm about to eat some more.
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Hrrrthrrr: As my emergency contact I want you to pull the plug if I'm ever brain dead. Then donate my organs and befriend whoever gets my heart.
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Stephen Colbert: Come to my rally on Fri @ 1pm @ the Cistern at College of Charleston and show your support for Herman Cain for me.
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Shane Becker: It's amazing how much less I spend on groceries when I don't get a metric grip ton of juice and chocolate almond milk.
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Shane Becker: The other day @n8duke and @isadance called me because asking me was faster than googling for Fall Out Boy lyrics. I'm good with that.
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Toodle Pip: Watching "Into the Wild" makes me want to pack up all my stuff, head into a forest wilderness, and hang out until my iPhone battery dies.
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Lo: if there's anything nicer than an overwarm bath and a discussion about the nature of discourse via wifi- well ill just eat my donut hat.
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Brooke Graham: I made a snowman, with penis. Sledded down Republican w/ random neighbors. Got drunk. & I am now cooking dinner for one. Today has been ok.
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Jonathan Howard: If only people had hated #NDAA as much as #SOPA. Apparently indefinite detention without trial isn't nearly as bad as losing Youtube.
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Dee Dee Cecil: You know you're a grown-ass woman when your home smells of high-grade weed and marcona almonds. #adulthood #40
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Teri Solow: Why do they call it a "walk of shame"? How prudish. It should be, "walking off a really fucking good night, thankyouverymuch."
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Lauren Caltagirone: "I miss being single," my married friend fibbed as she retreated into her cuddle kingdom to continue being loved unconditionally.
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Josh : Avatar 2 release date has been pushed back 2 years from 2014 to 2016? Pandora will be real by then & it will be like watching a soap
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Missy Moser: Him: I noticed in your profile we have something in common. Me: What? Him: Fucking magnets, how do they work? Me: oh wow. Him: miracles.
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Kimbra: That awkward but humbling moment when 'Somebody I Used To Know' is blasting through the airport & everyone around you is singing along.
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Laura Buttery: It would be so fucking awesome if I could never hear the phrase, 'I'm not here to make friends' again in my life.
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Doug Benson: Gay sex will exist forever, abortions will continue to happen, people will always smoke weed. Know what is going away, though? OLD PEOPLE
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Lo: crushed out on our moon tonite. amazing to think if earth were size of classroom globe, moon would be a mile away. and we've been there!
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Justin Crawford: A bike is a very simple machine. It uses gears and levers to rotate and turn the globe until the place you want to be is right here.
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Kelly Oxford: Cain, Perry, Bachmann all claimed God told them to run for President, and all are out of the race. God is hilarious.
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Brooke Graham: Whenever a Duke favorites/retwoots my tweets I feel like I scored some serious nerd points, of the geek variety. FTW! Cc @eliduke @n8duke
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Bookis: "Don't worry kitty, we're gonna watch a show, you can come cuddle with us" -@eliduke talking to cat while we're winding down for the night
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Clayton Cubitt: More people are having mind-blowing anal sex in NYC at any given time than voted in the Iowa Republican caucuses today.
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Lauren Caltagirone: As an experiment, I'm gonna mass-text all my exes "Meet me at our place at midnight." Or, rather, my ex. Or I'll just eat pudding.
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Scotched Rinker: I'm really good at making someone fall in love with me and then slowly destroying that love, if anyone needs marriage advice.
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Morgen Myrdal: yknow, staring out the window watching a winter sunset in manhatten while listening to crosby stills & nash and getting paid aint half bad
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Gosia Pastusiak: Had a dream I was in Hawaii w @eliduke . We had to swim thru rough waves to a sand bar where we are berries w sea turtles. I miss HI
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Bookis: If i disappear or get eaten by cannibals today, please know @eliduke is ultimately at fault.
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Geoffrey Grosenbach: Many adults have forgotten the joy of dumping bags and boxes of things out onto the floor. Try legos, chips, or a 10 pound bag of flour.
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Lauren Caltagirone: Anybody have a dog & a baby & a stroller & a wheelchair I could borrow? I need to go to the mall and just stand there.
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Jon Daly: Does Tilda Swinton live in a house or does she just walk slowly into the ocean in a bridal gown in between movies?
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Hey! Where'd all the tweets go? Click here to see them all, but it's gonna take a sec...